


I don't hate you

by MangaBitch



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Adopted Sibling Relationship, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, America/England Feels (Hetalia), America/England Fluff (Hetalia), Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguing, Brothers, Crying, Cute, Cute Ending, Drinking & Talking, Drunk England (Hetalia), Drunkenness, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt, Fairies, Feels, Fluff and Humor, Heavy Drinking, Humor, Loneliness, M/M, Modern Era, Past Lives, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, Platonic Relationships, Poor England (Hetalia), Reflection, Regret, Role Models, Short & Sweet, Short One Shot, Shyness, Sulking, The Author Regrets Nothing, Time Skips, Wine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2017-07-20
Packaged: 2018-12-04 17:40:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11560137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MangaBitch/pseuds/MangaBitch
Summary: America once again finds England drunk at his desk, only this time he has a few confessions to make. Causing them to grow closer





	I don't hate you

**Author's Note:**

> Platonic USUK

England sat quietly at his desk, his head rested upon the hard wood. Gripping a half empty bottle of red wine in his hand, already rather intoxicated and planning on getting more so. He was utterly miserable, his heart aching with sadness. Once again turning to booze for comfort while the fairies simply watched over him with deep concern helplessly.

He could hear them whispering in his ear, begging him to stop. But he didn't want to, booze helped ease the pain in his heart. At least for a little while, until the effects wore off and he was hungover or back to normal. The effects he got off of booze never lasted long and it really did suck in a big way.

America kept getting stronger and stronger as a nation as time passed. His country growing bigger and expanding all the time, creating new relations and trade deals as time passed. He feared that one day America would have no need to have relations with him as a nation. Just pushing him aside like he was nothing and had no more use for him at all.

Though it was cruel and selfish to say so, at least when he was small America depended on him. He  _needed_ him, constantly in bits when he left him behind in the house. When he returned home he would rush into his arms sobbing and beg for affection, which he would happily give the youngster till he stopped crying.

Nowadays he only came over to talk but that was a rarity. He would just mess about and do childish things or at random for the smallest and stupidest of things. Never for anything of significant importance. It was like he was more of a convenience to America instead of actually considering his feelings or wishes.

Suddenly the study door opened and America burst into the room but the drunken Brit barely noticed him. "Yo, Iggy you home? I got some awesome stuff to tell you!" he cried loudly. However, instead of being met by a grumpy and short tempered male, he was met by a drunkard. Slumped on his desk gripping an almost empty bottle of red wine.

The bottle was nearly finished and if he drank anymore he would have a serious hangover. Wine gave the worst of hangovers if drunk in large quantities that is. "Dude? Are you drunk? What the hell?!" he yelled angrily. It was the middle of the afternoon and England was slumped at his desk drinking like a fish.

He managed to take the bottle from England's grip with great difficulty. It was strange how strong England became when he was drunk, seems while sober he was holding back. That made him think of how he may have used it back in the day, taking down enemies like ants and owning half the world as a one man army.

He just didn't want England to get sick, he had known since he was a child that England had a very poor tolerance for the drink. It almost always never ended well for the latter. He would rather help nurse the effects he could now, rather than let the poor Brit suffer for it with vomiting and the headache from hell the next day.

It was then that England looked up weakly to face America, his eyes red from crying. His eyes glazed over with booze and some remaining tears still lingering in his eyes. "Murica?" England slurred drunkenly. England's accent tended to become thicker when drunk, that and his filter tended to switch off. Making him honest about everything.

America nodded quietly, not really pleased at the smell of booze coming from England. Bring back unpleasant memories from his childhood that made him cringe. How he would bump into England drunk in the hall, or would come home drunk and pull him into a hug reeking of a bar. Making America worry and cry.

He then carried the bottle of wine to the kitchen and placed it on the counter. At least the last of it could be used for cooking or something like that, nothing really special at all. He then grabbed a large pint glass from the cabinet and filled it with water. This would at least sober him up a little and help dilute the influence of the booze in his body.

He was a hero after all. He didn't have it in him to let England suffer the painful headache to come in the morning, as well as the amount of vomiting he would probably do on his empty stomach. He may not like the person England became while drunk, but he didn't have it in him to just let hims suffer by himself.

As he placed it on the desk it was then that England decided to speak. But what came out of his mouth, was not what America had expected England to say while drunk at all. "Murica d' yu hate meh?" he slurred weakly. He had always felt that over the years since Alfred got his independence, they had grown so far apart. A coldness now growing.

America could only stand there in complete awe, his mouth hanging open a little. He couldn't believe that England would ask such a thing. It actually hurt a little to hear. Why the hell would England think he hated him, yes things had never truly been the same since the Revolution, but he still loved England with all his heart.

The Brit's big green eyes shone like a mirror as tears welled up, threatening to spill over. Breaking America's heart to see his adopted brother so beside himself with sadness. "Yu n… never wan talk to t' me. Yewer aways wiv france or Japan" he sniffed tearfully. Just what made them more special than him? He raised him after all.

If not for their relations as countries, he feared that America would probably ignore him as if he never existed at all. But then everyone tended to avoid him nowadays, thinking him pathetic. They just saw him as a washed up ex pirate who couldn't let go of the glory days and was sulky because of his position in modern life.

America softened, a sense of guilt washing through him as he saw the older male crying. He had never realized or considered how lonely England could get by himself. Barely having any friends or someone to spend time with, as well as mocked by just about every country for his faults or failures constantly. That really had to suck big time.

He sighed heavily and relented. What the hell? He then grabbed a tumbler from England's cupboard and poured himself some wine. He was in the UK meaning drinking was legal for him. But then with the conversation he was about to have with England he would need it. He had never been good at showing his softer side, it was a difficult thing for him to do.

He then sat down opposite England at his desk and took a small sip of wine. He then sighed heavily "I… I don't hate you England. I've always looked up to you bro, even as a kid. You were just so much bigger and stronger than me. Hearing about your pirate years, I wanted to be as cool as you" he confessed shyly.

England had been so much older than him as a nation when they met. He had more knowledge and experience than he ever hoped to have. He had seen so many eras and done so many amazing things. He had seen timelines and trends that he could barely dream of, he had lived a life that he had never thought could be real.

He always loved England's stories and hearing what he had accomplished in the past. He had hoped that by gaining independence and getting stronger he could live up to his reputation. As he got older and he saw all the amazing things England did during the 70's and 80's, secretly he had looked up to England even more.

He then felt his cheeks heat confessing all this stuff, thank god they were the only two here or he would never live it down. "To this day I don't know if I'll ever match up to you" he confessed awkwardly. He really hoped England wouldn't remember any of this tomorrow. Or he would cry of embarrassment and anger.

England stared at America as he said all this. Nobody would have ever guessed that the great United states of America would have these many insecurities about himself. But then again he was only human, he had his weaknesses and demons just like everyone else did. But he was just better at not showing it than most people.

He then smiled weakly "Y' pss me off, buh yr a gud kid Murica" he slurred. Though he had become stubborn and distant over the years, his affection and fondness for America would never falter. Besides, America was still a kid in so many ways. He was bound to mess up in some ways but that was what growing up was about. Learning from your mistakes and developing yourself.

America softened upon hearing these words from England. For once England actually sounded and acted like a big brother, despite being heavily intoxicated while doing so. A soft smile slowly growing on his face. To hear such words of encouragement from England was awesome. It would be their little secret.

He then grinned playfully "Hey England. Wanna get takeout?" he teased. Drunk food was always the best; besides they could watch some movies together and have some fun with this. It had been ages since they actually had some real sibling bonding together, since they were always busy with work or England was too stubborn to do so.

It was then that England sat up quick as a bolt upon hearing the sound of food. God, he could really go for some pizza, or kebabs. Or the biggest pile of fries covered in whatever topping. "Yesh" he slurred eagerly his mouth watering at the very mention of something to eat, he really was hungry right now.

America smiled, finding the twinkle in England's eyes upon hearing the mention of food adorable. He didn't think he had ever seen this side of England when drunk before. "You got it iggy" he said pointing at him as he went to order pizza. It seemed that drunk England wasn't so bad after all, at least not when he was handled well.

**Author's Note:**

> Feels


End file.
